I feel like I’m on the verge of bliss often. Actually, I’m “on the verge of” something all the time, but I’m concentrating here on bliss.
Bliss. What is it? Absolute contentment to the point of utter fulfillment. That’s my effortless definition. Now let’s look it up…
As a verb, “reach a state of perfect happiness, typically so as to be oblivious of everything else”
As a noun, “perfect happiness; great joy.”
On the verge of bliss…then BAM! I think of some catastrophe that’s about to happen or that could happen. It really sucks! Just on the brink of feeling total joy, where something is about to be the absolute most perfect best…and I screw it up with my stupid thoughts, taming the wild spirit of freedom and perfect goodness. For instance, I’m sitting outside on a warm summer day, watching my son play in the sprinkler. His laughter is delightful and his little body running to and fro is a pleasure to watch. My heart swells up and…..Then he pauses and looks to the right. Oh no! A bee! He chases it with his eyes, then with his hands then with his whole self. And I imagine my son tripping over the hose landing his nose on the edge of the deck. Blood everywhere. Just then Mr. Bee zooms in and proceeds to sting my baby right behind his precious little ear. Ya…bliss is done. Over. Caput. I turn to my sone, constrcuct some story about it being time to get inside, turn the sprinkler off, swoop him in my arms and head inside the house. What?? Was I just on the verge of bliss? Yes, why yes I was. Why can’t I simply enjoy this good pleasure?
It’s normal for people to resist the vulnerable state of bliss. It’s even harder for those with any kind of past trauma or anxiety or depressive tendencies to deny their blissful urges. Too often we are in a state of “what if?” It takes real effort to deny those thoughts to preoccupy our mind. It takes practice. We have to be purposeful about it.
The first step is realizing that the thoughts are denying our vulnerability. We have to intentionally and soulfully open up to a vulnerable state. Release our fears and anxieties in order to embrace freedom and happiness. It takes practice. It takes some control. It takes patience and perseverance.
One thing that helps me is meditation and prayer. When I find myself on the verge of bliss and I can feel myself denying a vulnerable state of being, I have begun to stop my thoughts for a minute. Literally, I put my phone on a timer for one minute. I intentionally clear my mind and I pray. I remember the words of psalm 27. “The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? … wait for the LORD. Be strong and let you’re heart take courage. Wait for the LORD!” Fears are calmed, anxieties relaxed and freedom is found.
Do you experience this bliss? Or are you in the verge of bliss too often. Is your heart swelling with good emotions causing you deep joy? Or are you trapped with fears and anxiety? Be honest with yourself.